Oct 18, 2012

Packing my bags and trusting God.....



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Packing my bag this morning for the retreat trip. I admit I was not looking forward to this at the first part of the week, maybe because I wasn't feeling well,or not feeling well could have been due to having to make the trip,since I signed up for it already! Is it ever hard for you to get out of your comfort zone? Due to my disability,I find it very hard to do so at times. I have to lug so much stuff,walker,wheelchair,C-PAP machine,a bag full of meds..plus the usual things one must take for a few nights away from home. Then I must depend on others to help me manage while away(my daughter is going too). I do have other reasons for dreading separation from "home". I feel a bit of panic when in a large crowd of people I don't know personally. Even if I were to meet some of you,whom I consider dear friends,face to face for the first time I would be very uncomfortable....Why,I am not sure...do I want to feel that way? No,of couse not! Could it have anything to do with feeling I may be rejected? Could be! Do I trust God in a time like that? Yes,most certainly! God has given me victory from so many feelings of fear and anxiety in the past few years. My desire and goal is to one day be able to stand before many and give a testimony of how God brought me through a terrible situation in my life,all the more stronger and wiser in the end. To share that we aren't alone in lives circumstances,that whatever we face..it can be made to bring good about in our lives and leaves us with much joy,and peace in the end. Despite my weaknesses,I do have peace! I didn't mean to say ALL that,but there I said it. Confession is good for the soul..is it not? And with all that being said..This morning I am looking forward to this trip...the not so far drive of about three hours....hoping to see some beauty of Autumn colors on the way. Looking forward to being ministered to and gaining spiritual knowledge from the teachings and testimonies of other Christian women. Spending a time of fun and fellowship with my daughter and sisters in Christ. When I am weak...he is strong! Blessings to all,Shelley

9 comments:

Twyla and Lindsey said...

Shelley, I do understand how you feel. It is hard to leave our comfort of home and into the unknown. I don't like large crowds either and many times my fear and low self confidence has kept me from being able to share my testimony. I am praying for you to have a safe trip and that you will be energized. Also praying for you to be blessed and receive much goodness from your experience. Love, Twyla

marie said...

Wouldn't it be nice if we could take some of the "boldness" we have in blogland and transfer it to how we act in person. Like you, I find it a bit uncomfortable when I'm placed in a new situation with people I don't know. Good for you for moving forward...
I'll be praying that this trip is a rich time of learning, fellowship and refreshment for you Shelley!

DollZandThingZ said...

Enjoy the retreat. It sounds like you will have a lovely time. be with people you love and learning about what you love. I think this is a recipe for a very special time and I wish you happy experiences. Travel safely!

Emily Fay said...

I understand how you feel! It is so hard to step out of our comfort zones - especially the world we create at home - our own sanctuary from the world. Praying for you to have a safe trip! *hugs*

Just Be Real said...

Have a blessed time. Hugs.

annie said...

Just know,you will not only be blessed, but be a blessing to others as you go forth. Praying for you during this time! I can relate to leaving my own comfort zone too!

Peggy said...

I can't even tell you the "hermit" I've become. I relate to all you've shared. I do hope you have a wonderful, refreshing time with the Lord and fellowship with the ladies.

janice15 said...

Well my dear, I have panic disorder and have difficult times...I can't even get to that point...Once upon a time I was able to do what ever...so times felt a little nerves but not for long though...but these days is quite different and i always depend on God for getting through...Hope you trip you goes well...Happy weekend with love Janice

Marqueta (Mar-keet-a) said...

Dear Shelley,

I'm a little late commenting, but I'm glad that you went out of your comfort zone to go to your retreat; I love having a blog, since it allows shy people (that's me) to get to know kindred spirits without being too uncomfortable!

Love,

Marqueta