Oct 29, 2011

Chit,Chat and remembering a Life......

It was cold when I woke this morning. My house has no central heat,just a space heater that burns propane. I don't light it unless it gets really cold..we are having temps in the 40's and high 30's here right now at night. So,I just use a small electric heater to warm the house up some. Mind you I am no way complaining...Not one bit after that horrible summer of 100 + temps...this morning was a blessing compared to that. Today the high will be in the 60's with sunshine...just wonderful. Would be a great day to browse around a flea market some where but,that won't be on my agenda. I would have loved to have made it to the pumpkin patch with the kiddos but,there was just to much going on in our lives for that this year. I have been fighting a blue mood after the death of my grandsons father. He was a man to be pitied in many ways. After my daughter and him divorced he was homeless for a long time,just living wherever he could. He had lost one leg to cancer when the boys were babies which left him unable to do much of any hard labor work and he didn't have an education for office work or anything of that type plus,he had other medical and emotional problems as well. So he lived on disability which doesn't afford much  to rent a home or such. Thank God I don't have rent to pay because I couldn't. About a year or so ago he finely got settled into a government assisted housing and the boys were getting to come for regular visits. He had a provider to help with his housekeeping etc. and was doing really well. The boys were looking forward to spending the summer with their dad this year. He didn't have a lot of family other than two sisters and some nieces and nephews and all of us who still considered with family. Him and my daughter,his ex wife,were the best of friends and got along well with one another. Anyway, it is so sad but,when he passed not a family or friend was with him. Except the friends he had made of the doctors and nurses...he didn't know any strangers and made friends wherever he went. None of us knew that he had went back to the hospital...he had been in for pneumonia but,had gotten better and was sent home. He had just spoke to my daughter the day before his death and was home but,did say he wasn't feeling well. It broke my heart and my daughters too that he was alone with no one to hold his hand or say goodbye. We all went to the hospital that afternoon after he passed and visited him...he was still in the ICU and looked liked he was just laying there sleeping.  The Champlain and the staff were all so helpful and caring and were upset over his death as well as we....they were treating him for the pneumonia and were in no way expecting  him to suffer a massive heart attack while there. They explained to us that they had worked for almost an hour trying to revive him but,there was never anymore sign of life. And to further the story...he had no kind of insurance and none of his family nor,any of us has money to provide a burial. So,his sisters decided to have him cremated which hurt the twins.  Needless to say there have been regrets,what ifs,and the like which never does any good for anyone but,we all seem to do that..don't we? My daughter and the boys have decided to give his ashes a resting place in the cemetery where some of our other family members are laid to rest.  We will have a graveside service and memorial for him at a later date.

Before the twins
On a family outing at the zoo.
This man loved the Lord..he loved listening to Christian music,attending church and just being around other people. He loved his kids with all his heart and respected me and their mom even after they were no longer married. He brought me roses many times just because and although I told him over and over I hope he knew what that really meant to me. He wasn't a perfect fellow by far and none of us are but,I do believe he found his place in God's Kingdom. And for that I should be so happy for him.....and I am but,still very sad for his boys that will have to finish growing up without their daddy. But,God is with them and I know they will be OK.

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